Surviving the November Squeeze: Prioritizing Your Mental Health in the Lead-Up to the Holidays
As a clinical psychologist, I see a common trend emerge in my practice every November. The weather is heating up, Maria is playing everywhere we seem to go, and a subtle but undeniable pressure starts to build. It's the "November Squeeze" – that unique blend of anticipation, stress, and obligation that precedes the holiday season.
For many, November feels like a race against the clock. We're grappling with the seemingly endless task of finishing up projects at work before the end-of-year rush, all while our mental to-do list for Christmas grows exponentially. The pressure to arrange the "perfect" holiday can be immense, leading to a sense of burnout long before the festivities even begin.
This pressure cooker environment often boils down to a few key stressors:
The Logistics of Family: The age-old question of "whose turn is it this year?" can become a source of immense tension. Deciding which family to see, where to go, and how to navigate complex family dynamics can feel like a full-time job.
The Pressure of Presents: The desire to find the "perfect" gift for everyone can be overwhelming, financially and emotionally. The thought of not receiving a present or feeling obligated to give something in return can also be a source of anxiety and hurt.
Workplace Burnout: The final push at work before the holiday break can feel relentless. We're trying to tie up loose ends, meet deadlines, and leave a good impression, all while our minds are preoccupied with holiday planning. This can lead to a feeling of being stretched thin and utterly exhausted.
The Desire for a Different Holiday: Perhaps the most difficult stressor of all is the quiet yearning for a different kind of break. For many, the idea of a Christmas-centric holiday—with all its social obligations and logistical demands—feels less like a break and more like another set of tasks. The wish for a peaceful, rejuvenating holiday that isn't all about Christmas is a valid and important one.
It's also crucial to remember that not everyone celebrates Christmas. For those who belong to other faiths, such as Jehovah's Witnesses or Muslims, the holiday season can be a time of navigating a world that feels focused on something they don't observe. This can bring its own unique set of challenges, from feeling left out to having to explain their traditions and beliefs repeatedly. Acknowledging this diversity is an important step in creating a more inclusive and empathetic society.
Protecting Your Mental Health in the November Squeeze
So, how can we protect our mental health during this challenging time? Here are a few strategies to help you navigate the November squeeze and enter the holiday season feeling more grounded and in control:
Set Realistic Expectations: The "perfect" holiday doesn't exist. It's a fantasy. Give yourself permission to let go of the idea that everything needs to be flawless. Acknowledge that some things might not go according to plan, and that's okay.
Communicate Your Needs: Talk to your family about what you need. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's okay to say no to certain invitations or to suggest a simpler way of doing things. You are not responsible for everyone else's happiness.
Create Boundaries: This is crucial. Set clear boundaries at work, with family, and with friends. It's okay to say, "I can't work late this week," or "I'm not able to host this year." Your time and energy are valuable resources, and you have the right to protect them.
Schedule "Me" Time: Deliberately block out time in your calendar for yourself. This isn't just about fitting in a workout; it's about making space for quiet reflection, a favourite hobby, or simply doing nothing at all. This "me" time is non-negotiable and should be a priority.
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It's okay to feel stressed, frustrated, or even resentful of the holiday pressure. Don't push these feelings away. Acknowledging them is the first step toward managing them.
Seek Professional Help: If you're feeling overwhelmed and the stress is impacting your daily life, please consider talking to a mental health professional. A psychologist can provide you with tools and strategies to navigate this difficult time and protect your well-being.
The holiday season is meant to be a time of connection and rest, not a source of chronic stress. By being proactive and prioritising our mental health now, we can move through the November squeeze with greater resilience and ensure that our holidays—whatever form they may take—are a source of genuine joy and peace.
